3/6/2016 – Nion – Ash ~ Journeys – Action

Ash_Nuin

The Green Man Tree Oracle
by John Matthews and Will Worthington

STRENGTH GROWS FROM DEEP ROOTS

Strength comes in many forms and is often wrongly confused with power. It can also allude to endurance, the ability to survive in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. One of the most powerful characteristics of humanity, strength endlessly represents itself in the darker pages of our history,[removed] Inner strength, the gift of a spiritual presence within each individual, also lends itself to the imagery of the tree, whose life-giving sap courses through it like blood, drawing on the energy of the earth to give it the strength to grow. Growth itself is another aspect of strength, [removed] Whatever you may be looking for, Ash instructs you to consult your roots [removed]
The dual powers of the ash are its strength and its rootedness in wisdom. From The Goddess Tree.

Are you reading with as much trepidation as I am writing? Yesterday was certainly intense. I have found, in my life, that those intense days do not last  when you walk with the gods and goddesses. And so today it is not surprising that I have pulled Ash to be reminded by the gods that “humanity, strength endlessly represents itself in the darker pages of our history.” Matthews talks about rootedness. Although my childhood was certainly horrific, I had a rootedness very early in a complete and utter belief – faith – in God. I always knew, in very real ways, that the adults around me were possessed by pure evil or insane. I always had this childlike sense that I had been picked and chosen to walk this path because I was the one who could emerge from the other side in some semblance of wholeness and sanity. I always believed that rootedness was divinely given and sustained. As Matthews says, “Inner strength, the gift of spiritual presence within each individual…”

I still struggled last night trying to sleep. I pulled Alice the Pagan Service Dog‘s bed over to my side and had her take up sentry between me and the door. I finally broke down and took something to help me sleep and stop ruminating on what ifs. I fell into a sleep that was all about the love I have for those in my life and the love they have for me. I woke this morning, unwilling to try to battle my ghosts so I skipped meditation and went straight to my weekend chores to get ready for the class being held here tonight.

You should know, I am not sorry for the life I lived. I never wish it had been someone else. And, whatever your struggles and challenges have been, you shouldn’t either. You, right now, are the sum total of every person, life event, and coincidence that has ever occurred with you present. One of those missing from your life experiences, and you would not be you. Maybe you aren’t happy with you, though? Maybe you look back at your life with contempt and think – “I never wanted to be this person.”

You are rooted wrong. You live a life believing that the past makes you. Sure abusers and violators want you to believe that they have power to make and unmake you. It is a lie. All they can do is something to you – YOU have the power of response, reaction, decision.

None of these powers reside in your abuser. They reside in you. When you decide to get up and fight another day – you have won. When you decide to root yourself in a belief that all the things have happened to drive you into being the best person you could possibly be – you have won. When your past shapes how you fight for another’s future, you have won. When your horrors are ones you will not be silent about, through your voice you have won. Power is never really held outside of your own body. That is the ultimate lie every violator and abuser counts on you believing.

Power resides in you. It resides in me. I am reminded today how I am rooted and that being rooted is a choice and habit. If you read yesterday’s post, then you understand that staying rooted requires hard, consistent work.You know that sometimes it will feel like the violators win. Sometimes it will feel like you were never harmed.

How are you rooted? By choice or default? By conscious effort or apathy? By action or inaction? Don’t let  your yesterdays ring in your heart and mind. Root yourself in the inner strength of each moment when you chose and act contrary to every abuse ever visited upon you. ash_drew_nion

 

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